Darkest Days

Darkest Days
There are times
when I'm just a shell
when I do not feel anything for anyone
all I feel is hollow & bruised
used up & miss-used
forced to be someone I don't
want to be

Have I failed somehow or some way
will the weight of today
finally pull me down to drown
in the depths of despair
where I am alone
except for my rage?

My rage....My pain....
I hate my darkest days

Everything I Touch
The more I feel
the more I die
nothing to give
nothing inside

everything I touch I break
(I wanna break you)

I scratch and tear
until it bleeds
I do not want
I only need
I only need
I only need....

everything I touch I break
(I wanna break you)

How Can I Hold On
Back when you were in my life
you gave me something that I could live for.
Now everything's changed and you're
gone but I'm still here waiting.

So how can I hold on
with nothing to hold on to....
Why should I hold on
when there's nothing to hold on to

Sex made me feel alive but now I'm
so bored with mindless passion.
Drugs were someplace to hide but
they've left me feeling cold and empty.

So how can I hold on
with nothing to hold on to....
Why should I hold on
when there's nothing to hold on to

I thought you were my friend that you
were someone I could turn to
But now I realize you were a
friend when you needed something

So how can I hold on
with nothing to hold on to....
Why should I hold on
when there's nothing to hold on to

Drugstore
You seduce me lonely in your hell
naked and hungry I crawl into your cell....
a virtual drugstore is piled on your bed
I can't resist with your tongue inside my head....

How can everything be justified by you?

you get off on watching me bleed....
you get off on feeding my disease
this time will be perfect you explain
but your tongue's as deadly as a needle in my vein....

How can everything be justified by you?
How can my demise be justified by you?

I'm so tired of living for you touch
I'm so tired of needing you so much

How can everything be justified by you?
when did I decide to be crucified by you?
how can everything be justified by you?
By you....

You Complete Me
You Complete Me
I am lost in the darkness
between two worlds and here
I'm struggling....
You're the light I've been seeking
cause my whole life there's been something missing....

Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch and
You complete me

Rescue me from this black hole
That's sucked me in and left me dying
you're the truth that I've been seeking
Cause my whole life I've been lying....

Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch and
You complete me

God I pray you find me worthy
of the right to stand beside you
And of your truth and of your passion
And of the right to sleep beside you....

Only you
Can make me whole
Just one touch and
You complete me

Save Yourself
I know your life is empty
And you hate to face this world alone
So you're searching for an angel
Someone who can make you whole....

I cannot save you I can't even save myself

I know that you've been damaged
your soul has suffered such abuse
but I am not your savior
I am just as fucked as you....
(I am just as fucked as you....)

I cannot save you I can't even save myself

Please don't take pity on me

my life has been a nightmare
my soul is fractured to the bone
so if I must be lonely
I think I'd rather be alone....
(I think I'd rather be alone....)

you cannot save me
you can't even save yourself
I cannot save you....I can't even save myself

Haunting Me
Everywhere I go I see your face
Every sound I hear is the sound of your voice
Why are you haunting me
Why can't I let you go?
So everything about me is a lie
At least it seems that way
When I look in your eyes
The truth scares the shit out of me
Who ever said love is blood and love is real
Has never felt the way that I feel
What does it matter
What's done is done and I should
Get on with my life
Why are you haunting me
Well I don't know what it is
But I can't seem to make myself forget
Was it something that you said
Or is it all the guilt inside my head
Why are you haunting me

Torn Apart
I know I should have told you
but I was so afraid you'd leave
And now there's nothing left to say
well nothing you'd believe
I never meant to hurt you with
the things I couldn't say
I promise you tomorrow while
denying you today

These lies have torn my world apart

A darkness grows inside me in fading shades of gray
All the colors of the world are slowly sucked away
I'm sinking ever deeper to a place that's cold and black
I can't believe I've lost you and you're never coming back

These lies have torn my word apart

Soon the night will take me and save me from my pain
Cloak me in cold darkness and help me lose your name....
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart
These lies have torn my world apart

Sometimes It Hurts
Six o'clock in the morning
my head is ready to explode
I can't believe I made it home alive
I don't remember where I went
or what I was drinking
but I know it's made me sick
and I'm not denying
that I get this way
when I try to get over you
I get this way
when I try to get over you
Sometimes it hurts so much
to lose the one you love
Sometimes it hurts so much
to lose the one you love

I tried so hard to hate you
but it only makes things worse
I only end up hating myself
and as my hatred grows
so do the lies
It's hard to face the truth sometimes
god I feel so useless
god I hate myself
when I try to get over you
I hate myself
how will I ever get over you?
Sometimes it hurts so much
to lose the one you love
After all this time you'd think I'd understand the way you feel but no
I only think about myself
And it's driving you away
I always knew it would one day
Sometimes it hurts so much to lose
the one you love

Drowning
I'm drowning in nothing
nothing real
nothing left

nothing
I'm losing myself
sinking deeper down.

Silently
leaving this behind
nothing left but me
I'm hating myself

hating
everyone hates me now
everything has changed
everyone has changed

but me
everyone has changed

Desperate Now
I keep breaking all the promises
that I keep making to myself
you'd think by now that I'd be over this
instead I'm feeling sorry for myself

So why does everything seem so desperate now
I should be feeling so alive
but it feels like something's missing
something's wrong somehow
it feels like something
deep inside has died

So why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel like dying
Why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel desperate now

I keep breaking all the promises
that I keep making to myself
but the promises mean nothing to me anymore
Circling the drain....
Spiraling to hell....

So why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel like dying
Why do I feel desperate now
Why do I feel desperate now

Goodbye
So this is where I say goodbye
this is where my story ends
and if there's on thing I've
learned from life
It's that it gets you in the end

So goodbye my friend
Goodbye
So goodbye my friend
Goodbye

When I'm Dead
I know the tears you're crying in your bed at night alone
I've cried those tears a thousand times
But those shallow empty songs about suicide are patronizing
You've got to learn to face you fears
Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
It can't silence all the voices in my head
I close my eyes but I can't make it go away....
Do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
When I'm Dead
I know the songs you're singing saying nothing loud and clear
I've heard that song a thousand times
But your noble empty lies about suicide are patronizing
You can never understand what I feel
Or do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
It can't silence all the voices in my head
I close my eyes but I can't make it go away....
Do you think I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
God I pray I'll be less lonely when I'm dead
When I'm Dead

The Thing I Hate
Lost in world of doubt and insecurity
Nothing that you hold sacred nothing you believe
Your life is a contradiction
while you thrive on manipulation
I fight to just hold on to what I believe

I won't become the thing I hate....
I won't become the thing I hate....
I won't become the thing I hate....
I won't become you

You've treated me like I'm a worthless piece of shit
You think like you're in control but you make me sick
I want to watch you suffer
the way that you've made me suffer
I want to fuck up everything you've ever loved

But I won't become the thing I hate....
I won't become the thing I hate....
I won't become you

On Your Way Down
I hope I see you on your way down
I hope you break every bone
I hope it kills you on your way down
I hope you die alone
All of your hate and all of your lies
will it be worth it?
when all of your friends
refuse to be alibis....
will it be worth it?

I'll see you on your way down

It's kinda sad to watch you break down
you greedy fuck you pissed it all away
so who will catch you on your way down
you've only got yourself to blame
When all your worst fears....materialize
will it be worth it?
there's nobody left who cares you're alive
was it worth it?

I'll see you on your way down

Waking Up Beside You
I've been so alone for so long
forgotten by the world forgotten to myself
your effervescent eyes have awakened me
and brushed the dust away....
but I knew you'd never stay
so I memorized the color of your eyes
as I lost myself inside you
I memorized the way our legs entwined
as I drifted off beside you
I miss
God I miss waking up beside you....

at night I cling to you I'm so afraid
afraid the day will come
and I'll wake up and find you gone
but you promise that you'd not abandon me
and kissed my fears away....
but I woke up to that day....
but I had memorized the way our eyes would meet
reflected in the bathroom mirror
and I memorized your naked silhouette
as you slowly brushed your hair....

I miss God I miss waking up beside you....

I've been so alone for so long....
I forgot how much it hurts to wake up so alone....
but I'd memorized how warm your body felt
as you lay half asleep beside me
and I memorized the way the sunlight filled the room
and played upon your body....

I miss God I miss waking up beside you....